Gumbo for Christmas from Shadow Yes Yes Happy Happy!

That mysterious mix of Cajun Trinity and rotel and roue sprinkled with a dust of ground sasafras leaves. Yep thats the smell in my house now, just imagine being
here. A friend from Chigago is being blessed with it. Yup just imagine, its Nawlins baby.

Wow my soon to be ex roommate told our landlord if they sued her for her broken lease she would want shadow evicted. But she loves us and 'sorry things didnt work out'.

Love to everyone today and always

I am fine. Love to you all. I feel your energy and it's helping so much. I am so busy but that is good for me cause it keeps me occupied.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you;
that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

It could always be worse

Choose one word to describe me

There is something about dogs that I am learning. I have a pack. I have to be their leader. They have been in disarray, describes me. They lunge for the door, fight for attention, pay no attention to me and do not respect me. Miala this week has chewed 8 inches of her fur off her back . Comprehending what i am describing about dogs, they also have the capacity to snap out of it if led in that direction. They can be calm and at peace, if you are. If you show them what you want of them they will do it. So now I am learning about me. I have created my dogs behavior by my behavior. I am so sad about that. The most amazing thing has happened. When I am their leader I feel better. They don't care about that, they respect it,and let me know, see if you lead we will follow. It really is that simple. I have been in the worst way, unable to process why I am in this state of despair. I finally talked to Shadow last night. It was, well you all have experienced that, about the best chance of surviving this overwhelming mind process I have been having. She said it sounded like I had first responders fatigue. I do because you cannot believe what I see in the eyes of the sick and dying, it makes me want to serve coffee at Starbucks. Sometimes its just too much. Its too much now. I have to say this to believe it. If not ,I could make it much worse then it is. I am glad I have LJ because if I talk about it to a live person all I do is cry. I am so mad I could just spit. My soul has taken about as much as it can take. Where can I get rehabilitated? Why my dogs of course. I can have hope.