That mysterious mix of Cajun Trinity and rotel and roue sprinkled with a dust of ground sasafras leaves. Yep thats the smell in my house now, just imagine being
here. A friend from Chigago is being blessed with it. Yup just imagine, its Nawlins baby.

Wow my soon to be ex roommate told our landlord if they sued her for her broken lease she would want shadow evicted. But she loves us and 'sorry things didnt work out'.

Love to everyone today and always

I am fine. Love to you all. I feel your energy and it's helping so much. I am so busy but that is good for me cause it keeps me occupied.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you;
that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

It could always be worse

Choose one word to describe me

There is something about dogs that I am learning. I have a pack. I have to be their leader. They have been in disarray, describes me. They lunge for the door, fight for attention, pay no attention to me and do not respect me. Miala this week has chewed 8 inches of her fur off her back . Comprehending what i am describing about dogs, they also have the capacity to snap out of it if led in that direction. They can be calm and at peace, if you are. If you show them what you want of them they will do it. So now I am learning about me. I have created my dogs behavior by my behavior. I am so sad about that. The most amazing thing has happened. When I am their leader I feel better. They don't care about that, they respect it,and let me know, see if you lead we will follow. It really is that simple. I have been in the worst way, unable to process why I am in this state of despair. I finally talked to Shadow last night. It was, well you all have experienced that, about the best chance of surviving this overwhelming mind process I have been having. She said it sounded like I had first responders fatigue. I do because you cannot believe what I see in the eyes of the sick and dying, it makes me want to serve coffee at Starbucks. Sometimes its just too much. Its too much now. I have to say this to believe it. If not ,I could make it much worse then it is. I am glad I have LJ because if I talk about it to a live person all I do is cry. I am so mad I could just spit. My soul has taken about as much as it can take. Where can I get rehabilitated? Why my dogs of course. I can have hope.

and i will leave this life and i will know i have done the very best i can and i will leave behind strain and pain and take the blame for who i am and i try to find a way to hang it all together and when i leave this life what will you say of me you who never knew my heart for i will leave behind the sound of a woman who knew what was true from the start and i want to slide out of my old hide all clean and free and better and i want to run off somewhere,a wild new morning 0f forever.

i jumped out the window. i had enough. the only thing that was bad was it wasnt very far.

I want everyone backkkkkkkkkkkkk ! I miss Crow, I miss Ana. Tuesday is the DAY.

ester the elderly (94) was admitted to the hospital with a fractured neck, large head laceration, and multiple skin tears on her right arm and right knee. she has been attended by her caretaker since the accident. her caregiver never left her side even when injured herself so that redeems her a little. as for the seat belt, it seem as thou ester the stubborn refuses to wear those choking straps. her family would not stay with her so the caregiver could go to the er. they only visited once for 30 minutes. her caregiver and i discussed how hispanics and cajuns just have a different outlook then some others i dont know what to call her family, but we would never leave our grandma's alone in the hospital like that. ester keeps saying she is going to die soon. i hope that is not a premonition. as soon as i can im gonna bring that ester some flowers and sit for a visit. i will keep you updated. trish, oh i feel like yak shit thanks for all the good wishes

take a step away....find a place to dance...find a place to dream....find a place to feel....find a place to cry.....get away from all the dying which surrounds me like a serpents tail

I am rude ruby, as a hit man. but tonight I am rude ruby valentino. A romantic, who had a lot of love to share with her favorite valentines, in nola only. so those out there dont dismay, yall know who you are, i love you too. all valentines are not created equal. much love to you all, it comes in all sorts of packages. most of all my love was taught to me by my shadow, my heart. to know her is to know love. i sign off as rude ruby.

conked on the head. yup by my moms afrenda recently completed by conchita. weighing in at about 25 lbs. i was bending down in my doorway and went to grab the door knob but grabed the bookshelf instead. pow, the afrenda, which was on top of the bookcase conked me in the head. iwas quite dazed, grabbed my head and said foul words.then as i felt the blood creeping through my fingers, i knew the my head was split......owwwww. i called lee for help and he came over with crow who then carted me off to the er at the convention center.5 hrs later and two drs poking their fingers in the hole the afrenda made i am now at home under the tender care of my shadow, who is now trying to remove all the blood from my matted hair. pictures to follow oh by the way the cut was made by the rusted tin roof decoration on the afrenda and the force of it. hey but im okay and better then others. some one died while we were in the er im grateful for just a conk on the head